To lie or not to lie raced through my mind when a dear friend asked “How do you like my new dress?” “Does it look good on me?” “I got it on sale and saved a bundle.” I could hear in her voice how tickled she was. Now how could I bust her bubble when I’m thinking the dress looks like a burlap sack and she is the Idaho Potato? And in my own sound judgment, it was hideous.
Being the good friend I am, I wanted to bite my tongue and tell her the God’s awful truth, but I couldn’t. I knew her smile would have faded into tears. So I quickly cracked a smile and said it’s nice. After all, she liked it and will wear it not me. It’s her taste, not mine.
Most will agree that a situation like this mainly depends on the person, the relationship, and the matter at hand. Are you close enough to be honest? Does the person expect directness from you? Are you blunt enough, forward enough or care enough to tell it like it is? How important is it? At the same time, you don’t want to splinter your relationship over a difference of taste. So do you crack a smile and tell an untruth to save his or her feelings, or do you grin and bear the result of your negative words.
Maybe the best way to handle a situation like this is to make a positive note on something before throwing the bomb. Like with my friend and her dress. Next time I will brag about what a great deal she got first, then gently, show my concern of how the dress doesn’t compliment her it’s not her style. Can she exchange it for another more flattering dress? A dress that shows off her hard work at the gym, maybe?
It’s always good to take a positive approach when dealing with a negative charge. Hopefully you are able to say what you really think and it would be appreciated. Everyone is happy and your friendship blossoms even more. Being upfront and honest can be very sensitive and may cause problems. But when you are asked to say what you think should you or shouldn’t you? Definitely, especially when that person expects an honest answer. Don’t we all really want the truth, no matter how it may make us feel?
I prefer 2 pennies than a sack of potatoes. A penny for your thoughts, anyone?