I am Dee and I am a “Give-aholic!” – By Dalia Al Saad

Are you a giver? Addicted to giving? Is it hard for you to stop yourself from giving? Do you feel happy and at peace when you give? Well, you are probably the sweetest friend and the most loving relative. You should be proud of yourself and you sure must feel that sense of self-satisfaction in life when you see others appreciating what you have to offer.

However, are you happy? Are you really, really happy? Do you, my good giving friend, enjoy inner-peace? Are your needs being fulfilled as well?

It’s such a difficult task to reach that balance between giving and taking. After many years of giving for the sake of giving, I found that human beings tend to take your love, care, understanding, sacrifice, loyalty, and daily support for granted. They get used to receiving all of this and lay back and don’t feel the urge to give in return. Of course I’m talking in general here because we all know that there are exceptions to every rule, but no one can dispute the fact that, in general, it is true.

It’s like what they say: “Why buy the cow if the milk is free.” Meaning, if you don’t ask, or even “demand” your needs in return for your never-ending actions of giving, you will most likely end up with: nothing! An honest woman once said, “Well, you were the one who got me used to this!” So this should lead us to think that people around you will continue to act in a certain way as long as you allow it to be an acceptable norm. So to take it one step further, this means that dealing with people is so much like raising your kids; excluding the motherly or fatherly tone and surely including the assertiveness.

It’s sad for a person who believes that a caring, loving, and respectful treatment in return is supposed to be a given. “I shouldn’t have to ask for it!” is a statement that is unrealistic. You have to make it super clear from day one that there is a list of needs that are not negotiable and that your partner is expected to always meet these needs as a lifelong daily quest. A quest taken with love and a genuine desire to bring joy to that sole person who stood by him/her at all times: the good and bad.

Just remember this: It’s never too late! If you have never taken a stand for yourself in the past, you can always start to at any point. And I’m not saying that you should quit giving all together! On the contrary, having a giving soul is the best blessing you could ever have. Shopaholic, chocoholics, workaholics, and “give-aholics” all have one thing in common: Imbalance! They all are addicted to harmless things, but when overdone can be harmful and self-destructive! Put an end to this addiction because your self-centered loved ones need to be shaken up at a certain point, so you could all lead a happy life blessed with the most significant factor: A healthy balance between giving and taking.


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