Without Proof – by Helen Hollister


How many times have you gotten disappointed, angry, or hurt as a result of an assumption? It could be as simple as assuming you will be remembered for the holiday party but you never got the invitation. The assumption you made in your mind ended up an ache in your heart. Maybe you put in extra hours at work and made a lot of money for the company, then assuming you will get a big bonus or a great raise for all your hard work and you ended up with peanuts in your pocket.

Where is the proof that makes us assume such things? Is it we think others should or would do what we do ourselves? Are they expected to be gracious, appreciative or just plain nice, or should they remember what we do, did or would have done for them in a particular situation? So what if we have known each other for years, but wait I haven’t seen you in a year?! Why should you be given a raise when everyone has done the overtime? What proof is there for you to expect anything?

I remember when we were building our home. I went to turn on the porch light and the light switch didn’t work. I realized it was outside. UGHHH! I couldn’t believe the electrician placed the switch outside on the porch wall not inside by the door. I was in a twist for days. I assumed the electrician knew what to do. I mean do we have to spell it out. And the time I assumed my husband was getting me diamond earrings for my birthday. I assumed because I hinted all year. But what did I get, a box of chocolate and a dozen roses. Okay, that was lovely, but I was disappointed I didn’t get the diamond earrings. Did I have the proof?   Never did he mention it. So why did I expect it?  Just because he loves me?!

I think our expectations really play a part in what we assume no matter the situation. When we expect something, we assume it will be. In the morning the sky may be full of clouds. Gloomy gray rolling clouds with a scent of rain in the air. So you assume it is going to rain. You grab your rain coat and umbrella and head on to work. But by the time you reach your destination the sun is shining and the sky is clear. Wasn’t the gray sky proof enough?



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