Each person comes with a unique baggage set that is carried along in this wonderful journey of life only to increase in number and vary in shapes, sizes, colors, and most importantly, in content. This baggage set that we carry around day in and day out can either make us or break us, if we allow it to.
This load that one is carrying can build muscles thus strength or just pull ..one ..down.
Due to their encounters and experiences, some are unable to easily trust while others become overly attached and obsessed with friends in search for their snatched love. Some become attention seekers while others don’t open up easily. Some are control freaks while others are just passive and isolated. Some become so selfish believing that it’s a given right for them to protect their needs and desires in any way, shape, or form, while others are selfless and more of compassionate, constant givers who fail to meet their own vital needs. And the list goes on…
Our tastes, mentalities, and abilities are so diverse, which make it extremely difficult, if not impossible, to accept and/or tolerate every individual on planet earth. That reality is one of the factors that play a role in adding more content to the luggage. You see, when many of us don’t know how to deal with a difficult person or just a person with a different set of luggage, we might end up scarring them for life while all we initially wanted to do was distance ourselves from them to protect our own sanity.
So how do we deal with negative traits that each person naturally has but may be difficult for us to digest?
Should we follow Newton’s famous rule that for every action, there is an equal (in size) and opposite (in direction) reaction force?
I deeply believe in being compassionate and understanding towards others’ “luggage” and that by doing that, I can win them over and help them find and see the light, breathe a long sigh of relief with a smile on their faces and start over.
Having said that, I’ve recently come to terms with the fact that I won’t always be able to succeed in doing that and that it’s okay not to.
You see, as obvious as it is for some, in the past I couldn’t see that some luggage has combination locks that are difficult to crack, especially for a person like me who is not specialized in this field of studies.
Enough with metaphors!
Plain and simple – If the person you’re dealing with has major issues that makes him/her hard to communicate with, or is just so different from you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable then you should remember that it isn’t your fault!
Nobody should expect you to succeed in helping this person because you do not have the necessary tools to do so and/or that person is extremely resistant to your attempts to help make positive changes in his/her life!
Some are so full of themselves that they will aggressively react, falsely accuse you of being jealous and/or end up pushing you away.
So what have I learned lately? – People are so uniquely different that I shouldn’t expect from them what I would naturally do in any given situation.
So here’s what I intend to do:
1. I will continue to be compassionate and understanding towards others, but I won’t expect outstanding outcomes as a result to my efforts.
2. I will always remind myself that I’m not to blame if it didn’t work out with the person I’m dealing with, specially if I did all my best.
3. If the person I’m dealing with makes me feel uncomfortable in any way, I will limit his/her presence in my life to a minimum. However, in some cases, amputation is required for the good of both sides and guilt should not be allowed to crawl into my heart and mind.